Somethng to think about

Shut your eyes and tell me what you see.
No, the answer isn’t darkness.
Tell me what you see.

Cover your ears and tell me what you hear.
No, the answer isn’t silence.
Tell me what you hear.

Hold your breath and tell me what you smell.
No the answer isn’t nothing.
Tell me what you smell.
Just think about it…okay?
Kimberley Doreen x

.................

Life isn't a game, it's a competition.

Kimberley Doreen x

Lost Drafts

We write our story slowly, editing its pages, making it sound as exciting as we can.
All our victories are recorded there, yet very little does it say about our defeats.

There's no shame in losing we're told, but if that's true, why do we not hear from them?? The losers?
No one wants to own up to it I figure. No one is strong enough to take defeat in their stride because they're ashamed.
Why be ashamed of your story? I don't understand.
Everyone's story is edited. No one keeps their drafts anymore. I suppose in a world like ours, they're just not good enough. The real stories. We're forced to make half of it up, just to hold the readers attention. Sad.

Well. I'm determined to change that. I'm going to tell my story like it's being written. I'm proud of my story, of my mistakes, my defeat, because it's me. Show me your draft, and I'll show you mine.
And we'll read it together.

Kimberley Doreen x

Why so calm ?

Why do we feel so calm, standing on a pier that is being tormented by angry waves, pushing up against it's sides? Standing alone, straight, against the wind urging towards the edge.
Should we not feel frightened? Scared that the wind will eventually send us into the depths of the darkened water below?  But no, we continue to stand tall, searching the dismal horizon for a sign we're not alone.
Calm.

A storm is coming, and all I can do, is stand on the pier and feel completely calm in myself, my life and the world. Doesn't that make you question anything? Not my health or safety, but I suppose in a way, life.
How is it possible that while one thing is happening, however terrible it may be, something great is happening elsewhere?
I don't know the answer. I don't think I ever really will. But maybe I will be given hints throughout my life. Hopefully by the end of mine, I will know the answer.
By this time it will be too late to teach the children asking the same question. Maybe that's what life is about, searching for an answer and then finding it?

Beats me.

Kimberley Doreen xx

World of Secrets

There're so many things that are not visible to us, yet we are not blind.

I disagree.

People say you can't see love. you can't see sadness. you can't see happiness.
No, to them, you can only feel it. They must be senseless, because I can do both.

You see these emotions every single day, it's only you cannot identify them, because you are not the one expericencing it. We tend to discard small things; facial experessions, body gestures, etc, for basic communication, similiar to a language. True. False.
With the aid of others, we are shown these emotions in basic forms. Paintings. Photography. Drawings.
Photography, to me, is the purest form of these emotions, without experiencing them first hand. It reflects real life more, as most emotions captured are using people to do so.

Being a teenager, I am yet to expericence certain things. But it doesn't mean I'm unaware of them. Sometimes by looking at a photo, I feel as though I am the one there in the photo, instead of the person.

The world as it is, some people are more gifted than others. Zhang Jingna (Zemotion) is one of the very few photographers that allows me in on the world's secrets. Thank-you for letting me see what emotions look like, and for me, feel like.
Cheers Jingna.

Kimberley Doreen x

Not enough

I don't think you realize how much you occupy my mind.
Many nights, I don't sleep well, because you keep me up.
Many nights, I dream peacefully, because you help me sleep.
Every hour, I convert to your own
Every minute, I await your reply

How can I measure what I feel? I cannot.
How can I tell you what I think? I can't
How can I let you know I'm here? I try every single day.

Sometimes "I love you" isn't enough.
You deserve more.

Sincerly yours;
Kimberley Doreen x

Just one more chapter

Lets close our eyes and dance our pain away.
Soon we'll be numb and only the music will share our thoughts.
We won't have to talk to each other, simply be present and rub shoulders.

But maybe someone can wipe our tears away.
Their touch will comfort us, no words required.
Lets not be immune to how they feel, and trust them with who we are.

Soon enough this feeling will go.
Lets not dwell on it.
Untie these ropes
To free us all.

Kimberley Doreen x

Bed-Time Story

Deterioration is seen behind your eyes,
Devastation created by your white lies

Your limbs remain numbed by this sensation I create,
In your veins, not blood, instead replaced by faith

Please trust me openly with what you are,
Your damaged mind, I wear openly as my own scar

Battered and beaten we lay still,
Threatened by our freedom, held against our own will

They turn their backs, pretend to be blind
Ignoring us, they create unheard of crimes

Lets bare it for our people, self assigned witness
We die here together, praying for forgiveness

Kimberley Doreen x

Change

Change comes in many different ways.
But it's only when you realize that something has already changed, that you realize how many other things are in the process of changing.

We tend to think of change as a negative thing because it's so unknown to us. We reject the idea of it being good, for how can something be good when we have never experienced it before?
As individuals we are very closed minded when it comes to this.

For me change is the unknown. It's a dark abyass in the middle of space. I dont really want to travel there.
So why am I on a rocket heading straight for it?

I think it's time we all embrace change. There's no use avoiding it, or becoming so naive we miss the process.
I've awoken to it, and I'm fighting it.
But I'm accepting it, and so should you.

Kimberley Doreen.

Tarot Reading

Come, lets build a life together.
Just take my hand and lead me into your arms, we'll be okay.

When the wind comes, we will tighten our hold and turn our backs away.
When the rain pours, we will shelter each other with what we can
When the snow falls, we will callopse onto the ground and imprint ourselves onto the earth
When the fog appears, we will guide each other to safety
And when the sun shines, we will stand and face each other, finally seeing each other clearly

Lets build this life strong, so we won't be forced to watch it crumble
Lets build this life strong, so we can live it for as long as we need to.

Where is my paint brush?

If my opinions are only that, then why do you let them get to you so?
To you, they are orders screamed in your face. But if I am screaming so loudly, why can't you hear me?
Perhaps I am a blur to you,
Perhaps I am the devil, holding out my dagger

No, in reality, I'm just whispering a soft rebuttle to your obscure suggestions. I am not out to get you, I am simply here to remind you of the other side. At the moment I'm standing here alone, while you build-up your tall white fence. Well, if you want, I can paint this side black.
Just for you though, to allow the differences to show clearly.

Maybe you will hear my screaming then.
But it won't be for help. It'll be to warn you of the fire raging in your backyard.

Kimberley Doreen x

Scattered Thoughts

Take me away from here.
Take me across vast oceans and small seas.
Take me into deserted deserts and elevated valleys
Take me down to the earth's floor and to it's endless skies
I don't need to know your name, I don't need to see your face.
Just take me on a tour of what life would be like with you.
Show me what you awake to when you open your eyes
Show me what you fall asleep to at night
Show me where you are hidden.

I give you my hand and my permission, now lead me to salvation.
Kimberley Doreen x

Unexpected Crashes

Murky waters, clouded dreams
An empty surface, or so it seems
The sky is blue, yet there are clouds
So dissapointed, yet so proud

There are always things that stand in our way. Road blocks, that we seem to crash into.
It's not a small crash either, normally head on.
We face these things unaware of our stregnth and endurance. When asked up front if we want to continue, we say please, no. But when asked later, we throw our heads back, laugh and say "again".

I think that in a world like ours, it's best not to know what's coming for you. Just accept it. Buy a new car, get health insurance. It's all the same.
You always have the option to stand there with a drill and work your way through the wall. But seriously, who wants to do that? Just put on a crash helmet and get in your car.

Drive away. Drive fast. Get the hell out of here.
Kimberley Doreen x

Attached

It's no use becoming attached to something temporary.
Because when it leaves, your left arms outstretched, waiting for their fingers to find yours.
It doesn't happen.

We are left with an empty feeling, knowing that it will never be completely filled in, only covered by a thin layer. It's hard to keep going, being careful not to rip the layer, because it always seems to tear in places.
The best we can do is to hold it together well someone else sews it.

Lucky I know people who can sew well,
Kimberley Doreen x

See Me

We see emotion everyday through our words, our actions and through our expressions.
We unsettle each other with what we do, so much sometimes that we cannot help.
It's sad , that we can abandon each other in such a way, yet I am guilty of it.

Seeing someone throw themselves against a wall, kicking and screaming to no avail scared me.
Not because I was scared of what they'd do to me, but what they'd do to themselves and I was scared to find out the reason why such emotion was being shown.

After they stopped and left without being comforted by any of the estimated 80 people, people started to laugh. People started to talk. People started to shake in fear.
The thing that angered me was the comments that were being said. No one was brave enough in that moment, yet everything being said, was phrased to make them sound heroic.
I wanted to get up and scream too. To throw myself against the wall and tell them to shut-up.
They have no right to do that. They did nothing. They deserve no praise.

I hope the man is okay. I hope that someone found and comforted him as I could not.
Next time someone tries to be heroic, I will personally hand them a gun and tell them to save the world.
I know they'll just pass it back.
No one wants that responsibility, but we all pretend we do.

Kimberley Doreen x

Our Moon

Our moon isn't reliable, always changing positions and leading us in the wrong direction.
It doesn't matter though cause being lost with you isn't a miserable ending, it is instead my fantasy.
But without you, the moon hovers by my side, creating a shadow that manages to engulf me with its size.
That's when I need you to come with a torch and put the spot light on me.
Scare away the shadows, and lead me away to safety.

Our sun is too bright,  I'm scared it will burn out soon.
Fires are always extinguished before we sleep. It's a precaution.
Sometimes clouds make it hard for our sunshine to reach us. We are left with the small slits, cracks, that we try to warm ourselves with. Still, we are left cold, only warmed by each other's arms.

We can't rely on things that have been here forever.
Instead, we need to learn how to rely on each other.
It's hard. But we need to try.
You can always rely on me

Kimberley Doreen x

Truth or Dare?

We all dare each other to kiss the enemy's lips, but not all accept the dare.
Some instead take the truth, but in many cases, the truth is much worse.
No one wants to admit to what they've done, or who to.
No, they choose to "dance with enemy", to face their current fear, instead of the shadow they left behind.
Fair enough, I say, but be careful, there's always next round to play.

In truth or dare, I usually nominate myself for the dare.
It's normally because I don't want to face the truths. Being honest of course.
There's too many things that I don't want general knowledge. And I'm almost certain there're others exactly the same.
After all, who wants everyone to know who they are? What's made them? How big their shadow use to be?
Not I, no bloody way.

Kissing the enemy seems too easy sometimes. Sometimes we go for the whole thing. Make it a bit of a challenge. We all know what it feels like to have something accomplished. For us, we rely on that feeling in life. So the enemy is our favourite person when we want a challenge.
Funny isn't it?
Mirrors real life.

Think about, and next time, reconsider the dare.
Not that I will, no, I'm sticking with it

Kimberley Doreen x

Unreachable Goals

It's not about what we do, but what we don't. We always seem to miss something.
Nothing we create can be perfect, not for everyone. Some people may think that your creation should have never been, and others will thank-you and never let go of your hand.
We can't please everyone, know kow that.
Hell knows, we've all tried to.
But no, we never actually achieve that goal. So why do we all constantly set it for ourselves?

Who cares what you wear, it's only material on your body.
Who cares what you look like, it's only skin covering your soul.
Really, all we want in this life is to please everyone, to be accepted.

I've already accepted myself for who I am, but can you really say the same about yourself?
You probably think your hair is a bad colour, or your stomach not small enough.
Screw that.
God made us differently and we must remember that.
We were not made to all look the same. We were not made to all think the same.

Stop trying to please others, and for once, please yourself.
Kimberley Doreen x

What It Takes

To see someone smile in life, is almost a gift in itself.
Because when you see someone smile, I believe you're seeing them.
For who they are,
For who they were,
And where they're headed.

It's the innocence of the smirk that draws me in. Never, have I seen anything as pure as some else's joy.
It makes you want to smile. Makes you want to act as if there's nothing else out there to hold you back.
No, only a smile can make you so naive.

For me, all I have to do is walk down a sunny street listening to some mellow tunes. That's what will get a smile out of me. Any time of the week, or day, that's what will make me grin from ear to ear.

And when I do, I hope you see me smiling.
Because I want you to smile back too.

Kimberley Doreen .

Our Army

Covering our heads, we run from school towards home.
Occassionaly shutting our eyes, we do not look at the bombs raining down beside us.
"They won't hurt us" we say to each other.
But we all know they can
And they do

This is a real life event. One we've all been through. One we go through everyday.
We'll go from the safety of one thing, forced out into danger, only to make our way towards what we call our sanctuary. Whether that be our homes, the homes of others or a place that is owned by none.

The safety that evicts us at first, is the beginning of our day.
It shoves us out into the world, and expects us to deal with it. To carry on as we were.
But we were dreaming before.
That's where the danger seeks us out.

The danger is our day.
We have to constantly shield ourselves from unwanted wounds. But to progress is always hard during the danger period. Sometimes you have to limp a few miles, and sometimes you have to ask for help.
Support, as they call it.

And finally our sanctuary. Our thoughts. Our dreams.
Our sanctuary is only that, because we built it ourselves.
We know it's safe, because we built it strong. With only the tools we own.
Everyone's sanctuary is different because we all own different tools.
Everyone's sanctuary has a different password, because we want it to remain secret.

The bombs get us sometimes. Sometimes you can't avoid them, tell each other that they won't hurt you.
When they do get one of us, we need to drag them safety. Help them, get them to their own sanctuary, so they can start their day again.

We can't stop the bombs from falling,
We can't pretend they're not there,
But we can build an army and take control

Kimberley Doreen x

Move On

Please don't convict me with your false insecurities
Please don't exploit me with your lies
Please don't judge me with your critical fatigue
But please, don't leave me here to die

Because without friends, we would die. Not actually die, as in getting your head chopped off, but die inside. Lose a part of ourselves.
When we make friends, and bond with people, we're sharing who we are.
We are sharing our hearts
We are sharing our souls

You can never get those pieces back. You either hang around, and put up with the choice you made, or you can take a risk, leave, and try to mend yourself.
That's the hardest thing to do. Leave a part of you behind and move on. Mind you, those people never forget, who you were and where you were headed. They own that part of you and always will.

It's a scary thought, but it makes sense to me. Some people call it your past. Few people call it the present. And many call it their future.
Don't hang around and wait for those pieces you shared to dissolve, they never will.
Take a chance and move on. Trust yourself to find someone else's pieces.

But when you do, treat them well.
And never forget.

Kimberley Doreen x

Our Inevitable End

Death is something that cannot be prevented,
a burden clouding people’s vision for the future,
an event that we can’t prepare for. 

Death is like Deja’vu,
something that keeps repeating itself,
a reunion we all have to attend.

But overall, death is life. It’s an experience that we all have to endure, one thing that we all have in common and the thing that at last lets us rest.
But what happens when you can’t die?
Not immortality or eternal life, but you can’t die because of the effect it will have on someone else. Death can’t be avoided but it can wait, if you’re the one thing keeping another going then it isn’t something you strive for.

Its going to come one day though, hit us right between our eyes, but we won't know until we're gone.
You shouldnt focus on death, it's inevitable, but you should focus on living.

And live we shall

Kimberley Doreen x

Everything Will Be Just Fine

Breathe.
Shut your eyes.
Count to ten.
Better yet? no

Open your eyes.
Look into the sky.
Think... about anything
Better yet? a little

Keep thinking..
Breathe again
Let the sun warm you
Better yet? yeah, im good now

If you're thinking "wtf is this girl on", then you're a liar. To people, to yourself, expecially to yourself..
If you're thinking "mhmmm", thankyou. You make it feel okay. Okay to be who I am, who you are and who we want to be.
Just remember, whoever you are, whatever you're doing, it's going to get better.

I promise

Kimberley Doreen x

It's Funny How They Work

It's funny how some days it's like you're waking up from a dream.
You suddenly realise things aren't right or the way you were imagining them.
Sometimes it's good, Sometimes it sucks

I feel trapped. Suffocating. Why are they looking at me like that? What did I say wrong? Have I offended them? Maybe they can read my thoughts, that's it, gotta be it, why else would they turn their backs to me like that?
This isn't a story, just thoughts, that we all think when we're sitting in our group of friends.
You want to fit in, but want to be yourself. Sometimes it isn't so bad, you just agree with what they're saying, but sometimes, like today, you feel the need to stand up and walk away. To escape. To get out.
You're just annoyed with the petty conversation they're having, the fake laughter, the eager sharing of gossip.

I've never liked following someone. I always have to go my own way or have my own opinions. That's what it should be like. Everyday. But your friends aren't that bad, of course they aren't, but sometimes you need your space. You need to be an outsider and realise that the world your building isn't stable.
That's what I continually tell myself to do. Back-up. You're getting too close. I know it shouldn't be like that, but I have other friends I need to look out for. Other conversation to be had.

You need to step back once and a while. Whether it's to see how stupid you look or how petty, or maybe if you're lucky, how happy.

Kimberley Doreen x

Take A Big Breath

Being underwater is like being isolated. In a good way.
You don't have to listen to anyone else's thoughts, anyone's opinions or anyone's complaints.
It's all blocked out. You are isolated.

As soon as you take a breath and dive under the surface, you are alone. Even if you're in a crowded pool or beach, as soon as you put your head under, you are by yourself.
Time to think
Time to escape
Time to breathe
As soon as you come to the surface, gasping for air, you are thrown back into the judgemental world, that on any other day, you call your own. Sometimes it's good to remind yourself who you are, and going out into that water by yourself is the best way to do it.

Another thing that i like about being isolated, you block out all the bullshit.

Kimberley Doreen x

When Your Horse Falls

Being away from home really gives you a perspective on things, one being the way people act and treat each other. Staying in both hotels and caravan parks, you can really tell what type of people are the free spirits and what ones are the trapped souls.
Being ignored in a small town, and denied the opportunity to hold a conversation with any of our fellow holiday-goers felt wrong. What, you've paid a little bit extra to stay in a hotel with high internet rates and expensive meals, so that makes it okay? hell no it doesn't.
Quite frankly, I'm excited to see you guys in ten years, a baby on the way at 37, a minivan, and "romantic" dinners with your mum and dad. f-u-n.

But honestly? Get off your high horse, you're no better then the rest of us.
Just because you have money right now, doesn't mean you A) know how to spend it and B) will have it in a few months. No one likes a snob, and you girly, are one.

Just ease yourself off that horse and walk like the rest of us.

Kimberley Doreen x

Love Is In the Air

Love is in the air, or is it?

For months now, I have increasingly grown agitated when people declare "I love you" over facebook.
I mean, how romantic?
It's not just that though, this growing trend of declaring our love, has imapacted me in a way that confuses me. We are living in a society, surrounded by children who want to grow-up. We don't want to wait until 18 to smoke or drink, nor do we want to wait until we are ready to love.

It's hard to pipe down and let this carry on. You're fourteen/fifteen, quite frankly, you do not know what love is. For youse who know me, yes, I do not have a boyfriend, let alone have ever dated, but I do not think this matters at all. I'm proud and happy to be a single teen :D

So, what is the true definition of love?
feel tender affection for somebdy
What's my defition of love?
To allow someone into our thoughts and hearts and to be allowed into theirs

Don't lock yourself down. These are our years to be spontaneous and have fun, so why give that up and say "I love you"? enjoy your freedom whilst you can

Kimberley Doreen ;)

Solitude

I always find certain feelings can produce the finest pieces of art.
For me, those feelings can be solitude, contentment and of course the creative bug.
A few days ago, I wrote a poem. I suppose it's quite average, but when you re-read it twenty two times (like I've done) you find there is actually a meaning/story there.

Enjoy, Kimberley Doreen x

_______________________________________________________________

Solitude isn’t a phase

Nor is it an escape

Isn’t a cliché

Just an isolated place

Go there to think

Take a lot of time

Don’t hurry back

To the world that is mine

Down to the beach

Hidden behind the trees

Is where my secret’s kept

Between just you and me

We remain silent

Nobody knows

Only each other

As far as truth goes

One day we’ll hear noise

Coming pretty soon

People here to visit,

Breaking our solitude

Please don't taint our air of truth.

Nothing every remains secret for long.
So why do people even bother? Why not tell the truth to begin with?
Because there are things we don't want to share. We're kind of selfish like that

Today, a secret revealed itself. You could say it made me upset, angry and maybe even embarrassed.
Yet I am glad.
Because I now know what the secret is, and isn't that what we all want to know?
You can say no, but we all know, that as soon as you discover there is secret, temptation will drive you to uncover it.
It's like an irritating bug that can't be squashed. You know, like a mozzie, always biting, leaving you with more reason to kill the bugger.
So I killed the mozzie. And I'm bloody thankful for it

It sucks that my air of truth was tainted. But hopefully by tomorrow, the air we breathe now, has blown by and we are breathing a fresh, new gust.
I know my gust will come, but right now, the air is still...

Nothing remains secret for long
And although the there are two sides to every story, only one is truth.

Was listening to "poisen in our pockets" by Whiltley when writing

Check'em out.

Laters, Kimberley Doreen x