Attached

It's no use becoming attached to something temporary.
Because when it leaves, your left arms outstretched, waiting for their fingers to find yours.
It doesn't happen.

We are left with an empty feeling, knowing that it will never be completely filled in, only covered by a thin layer. It's hard to keep going, being careful not to rip the layer, because it always seems to tear in places.
The best we can do is to hold it together well someone else sews it.

Lucky I know people who can sew well,
Kimberley Doreen x

See Me

We see emotion everyday through our words, our actions and through our expressions.
We unsettle each other with what we do, so much sometimes that we cannot help.
It's sad , that we can abandon each other in such a way, yet I am guilty of it.

Seeing someone throw themselves against a wall, kicking and screaming to no avail scared me.
Not because I was scared of what they'd do to me, but what they'd do to themselves and I was scared to find out the reason why such emotion was being shown.

After they stopped and left without being comforted by any of the estimated 80 people, people started to laugh. People started to talk. People started to shake in fear.
The thing that angered me was the comments that were being said. No one was brave enough in that moment, yet everything being said, was phrased to make them sound heroic.
I wanted to get up and scream too. To throw myself against the wall and tell them to shut-up.
They have no right to do that. They did nothing. They deserve no praise.

I hope the man is okay. I hope that someone found and comforted him as I could not.
Next time someone tries to be heroic, I will personally hand them a gun and tell them to save the world.
I know they'll just pass it back.
No one wants that responsibility, but we all pretend we do.

Kimberley Doreen x

Our Moon

Our moon isn't reliable, always changing positions and leading us in the wrong direction.
It doesn't matter though cause being lost with you isn't a miserable ending, it is instead my fantasy.
But without you, the moon hovers by my side, creating a shadow that manages to engulf me with its size.
That's when I need you to come with a torch and put the spot light on me.
Scare away the shadows, and lead me away to safety.

Our sun is too bright,  I'm scared it will burn out soon.
Fires are always extinguished before we sleep. It's a precaution.
Sometimes clouds make it hard for our sunshine to reach us. We are left with the small slits, cracks, that we try to warm ourselves with. Still, we are left cold, only warmed by each other's arms.

We can't rely on things that have been here forever.
Instead, we need to learn how to rely on each other.
It's hard. But we need to try.
You can always rely on me

Kimberley Doreen x

Truth or Dare?

We all dare each other to kiss the enemy's lips, but not all accept the dare.
Some instead take the truth, but in many cases, the truth is much worse.
No one wants to admit to what they've done, or who to.
No, they choose to "dance with enemy", to face their current fear, instead of the shadow they left behind.
Fair enough, I say, but be careful, there's always next round to play.

In truth or dare, I usually nominate myself for the dare.
It's normally because I don't want to face the truths. Being honest of course.
There's too many things that I don't want general knowledge. And I'm almost certain there're others exactly the same.
After all, who wants everyone to know who they are? What's made them? How big their shadow use to be?
Not I, no bloody way.

Kissing the enemy seems too easy sometimes. Sometimes we go for the whole thing. Make it a bit of a challenge. We all know what it feels like to have something accomplished. For us, we rely on that feeling in life. So the enemy is our favourite person when we want a challenge.
Funny isn't it?
Mirrors real life.

Think about, and next time, reconsider the dare.
Not that I will, no, I'm sticking with it

Kimberley Doreen x

Unreachable Goals

It's not about what we do, but what we don't. We always seem to miss something.
Nothing we create can be perfect, not for everyone. Some people may think that your creation should have never been, and others will thank-you and never let go of your hand.
We can't please everyone, know kow that.
Hell knows, we've all tried to.
But no, we never actually achieve that goal. So why do we all constantly set it for ourselves?

Who cares what you wear, it's only material on your body.
Who cares what you look like, it's only skin covering your soul.
Really, all we want in this life is to please everyone, to be accepted.

I've already accepted myself for who I am, but can you really say the same about yourself?
You probably think your hair is a bad colour, or your stomach not small enough.
Screw that.
God made us differently and we must remember that.
We were not made to all look the same. We were not made to all think the same.

Stop trying to please others, and for once, please yourself.
Kimberley Doreen x

What It Takes

To see someone smile in life, is almost a gift in itself.
Because when you see someone smile, I believe you're seeing them.
For who they are,
For who they were,
And where they're headed.

It's the innocence of the smirk that draws me in. Never, have I seen anything as pure as some else's joy.
It makes you want to smile. Makes you want to act as if there's nothing else out there to hold you back.
No, only a smile can make you so naive.

For me, all I have to do is walk down a sunny street listening to some mellow tunes. That's what will get a smile out of me. Any time of the week, or day, that's what will make me grin from ear to ear.

And when I do, I hope you see me smiling.
Because I want you to smile back too.

Kimberley Doreen .

Our Army

Covering our heads, we run from school towards home.
Occassionaly shutting our eyes, we do not look at the bombs raining down beside us.
"They won't hurt us" we say to each other.
But we all know they can
And they do

This is a real life event. One we've all been through. One we go through everyday.
We'll go from the safety of one thing, forced out into danger, only to make our way towards what we call our sanctuary. Whether that be our homes, the homes of others or a place that is owned by none.

The safety that evicts us at first, is the beginning of our day.
It shoves us out into the world, and expects us to deal with it. To carry on as we were.
But we were dreaming before.
That's where the danger seeks us out.

The danger is our day.
We have to constantly shield ourselves from unwanted wounds. But to progress is always hard during the danger period. Sometimes you have to limp a few miles, and sometimes you have to ask for help.
Support, as they call it.

And finally our sanctuary. Our thoughts. Our dreams.
Our sanctuary is only that, because we built it ourselves.
We know it's safe, because we built it strong. With only the tools we own.
Everyone's sanctuary is different because we all own different tools.
Everyone's sanctuary has a different password, because we want it to remain secret.

The bombs get us sometimes. Sometimes you can't avoid them, tell each other that they won't hurt you.
When they do get one of us, we need to drag them safety. Help them, get them to their own sanctuary, so they can start their day again.

We can't stop the bombs from falling,
We can't pretend they're not there,
But we can build an army and take control

Kimberley Doreen x

Move On

Please don't convict me with your false insecurities
Please don't exploit me with your lies
Please don't judge me with your critical fatigue
But please, don't leave me here to die

Because without friends, we would die. Not actually die, as in getting your head chopped off, but die inside. Lose a part of ourselves.
When we make friends, and bond with people, we're sharing who we are.
We are sharing our hearts
We are sharing our souls

You can never get those pieces back. You either hang around, and put up with the choice you made, or you can take a risk, leave, and try to mend yourself.
That's the hardest thing to do. Leave a part of you behind and move on. Mind you, those people never forget, who you were and where you were headed. They own that part of you and always will.

It's a scary thought, but it makes sense to me. Some people call it your past. Few people call it the present. And many call it their future.
Don't hang around and wait for those pieces you shared to dissolve, they never will.
Take a chance and move on. Trust yourself to find someone else's pieces.

But when you do, treat them well.
And never forget.

Kimberley Doreen x

Our Inevitable End

Death is something that cannot be prevented,
a burden clouding people’s vision for the future,
an event that we can’t prepare for. 

Death is like Deja’vu,
something that keeps repeating itself,
a reunion we all have to attend.

But overall, death is life. It’s an experience that we all have to endure, one thing that we all have in common and the thing that at last lets us rest.
But what happens when you can’t die?
Not immortality or eternal life, but you can’t die because of the effect it will have on someone else. Death can’t be avoided but it can wait, if you’re the one thing keeping another going then it isn’t something you strive for.

Its going to come one day though, hit us right between our eyes, but we won't know until we're gone.
You shouldnt focus on death, it's inevitable, but you should focus on living.

And live we shall

Kimberley Doreen x

Everything Will Be Just Fine

Breathe.
Shut your eyes.
Count to ten.
Better yet? no

Open your eyes.
Look into the sky.
Think... about anything
Better yet? a little

Keep thinking..
Breathe again
Let the sun warm you
Better yet? yeah, im good now

If you're thinking "wtf is this girl on", then you're a liar. To people, to yourself, expecially to yourself..
If you're thinking "mhmmm", thankyou. You make it feel okay. Okay to be who I am, who you are and who we want to be.
Just remember, whoever you are, whatever you're doing, it's going to get better.

I promise

Kimberley Doreen x

It's Funny How They Work

It's funny how some days it's like you're waking up from a dream.
You suddenly realise things aren't right or the way you were imagining them.
Sometimes it's good, Sometimes it sucks

I feel trapped. Suffocating. Why are they looking at me like that? What did I say wrong? Have I offended them? Maybe they can read my thoughts, that's it, gotta be it, why else would they turn their backs to me like that?
This isn't a story, just thoughts, that we all think when we're sitting in our group of friends.
You want to fit in, but want to be yourself. Sometimes it isn't so bad, you just agree with what they're saying, but sometimes, like today, you feel the need to stand up and walk away. To escape. To get out.
You're just annoyed with the petty conversation they're having, the fake laughter, the eager sharing of gossip.

I've never liked following someone. I always have to go my own way or have my own opinions. That's what it should be like. Everyday. But your friends aren't that bad, of course they aren't, but sometimes you need your space. You need to be an outsider and realise that the world your building isn't stable.
That's what I continually tell myself to do. Back-up. You're getting too close. I know it shouldn't be like that, but I have other friends I need to look out for. Other conversation to be had.

You need to step back once and a while. Whether it's to see how stupid you look or how petty, or maybe if you're lucky, how happy.

Kimberley Doreen x

Take A Big Breath

Being underwater is like being isolated. In a good way.
You don't have to listen to anyone else's thoughts, anyone's opinions or anyone's complaints.
It's all blocked out. You are isolated.

As soon as you take a breath and dive under the surface, you are alone. Even if you're in a crowded pool or beach, as soon as you put your head under, you are by yourself.
Time to think
Time to escape
Time to breathe
As soon as you come to the surface, gasping for air, you are thrown back into the judgemental world, that on any other day, you call your own. Sometimes it's good to remind yourself who you are, and going out into that water by yourself is the best way to do it.

Another thing that i like about being isolated, you block out all the bullshit.

Kimberley Doreen x