There's always those moments in life when we ask ourselves where we are.
Not geographical location of course, for that can be answered pretty much without thought these days due to the advanced technology we use.
But no, instead we refer to our state of mind.
What are your needs, wants? What are you going to do next? Where do you want to go next and how long is the journey there?
These are the questions everyone wants answered so they have clarity or peace of mind. I don't really know the answers to any of these questions. It's that I haven't considered them, for I have on numerous occasions, but I always end up sleeping and forgetting.
I'm hoping my life plans will just fall into place. Maybe I'll be offered a job somewhere, meet a guy, fall in love and so on. I know it's not going to happen though.
I don't live in a fairytale, yet I am the authour of my own. I decide what I get to do in this life. And I have to go out and retrieve it. I'm not going to wait for everything to come to me. How do I know anything even is?
No, I'm going to go do it all myself. Of course I'll always have help and guidence, so that is no issue.
I'm not scared either. That made me laugh. For someone my age not to be frightened of the future or life now is rare. I know people who are well into their 30's and are still scared.
But everyone over 50 are just scared of death. I'm scared of that too. I want to leave my mark first. I want to give people someting to remember.
Perhaps these thoughts aren't enough, but maybe one day they'll be valuable.
I don't know.
And now it's time for me to sleep.
Kimberley Doreen x
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